Thursday, October 22

Lockdown learning part 2

Covid seems to be fracturing everything lately. Back in June I lost a friend who felt I'd used her which devastated me and caught me completely off-guard. Today I lost a friend who can't open up to me, who repeatedly breaks engagements, and makes me feel used. I guess another unequal friendship - I open my heart and my arms to people, and am left sobbing alone when I need someone myself. I'll continue to be civil - I don't really have much choice in the matter, and anyway, that's not who I am. Ironically they're supposed to be trained in mental health. I'm waiting on that course myself thanks to covid, but I'm pretty sure rule number one in mental health is "keep talking", not "clam up and refuse all offers of a friendly ear". It's what the Samaritans were founded on. Anyway, enough. I'm fed up of being someone's emotional dumping ground, and I refuse to beg them to love me the way I love them. Unrequited and no longer required.

Current mood: depressed


fibreclaireUK said...

i dont have a suitable box to tick but i feel for you and am still thinking of you.

steel breeze said...

Aw, thanks! I still think of you too! I should delete those boxes but they've been there so long I forgot how I did them! :D