Thursday, November 20, 2008

The persistence of idiots

I had a lucky escape last night.

When I got to our knitting venue (a pub), our usual far corner was occupied by a few people, so I picked the next empty corner, which has a direct line of sight to the bar. That was a mistake - we were all fine until about 7.45pm, by which time there were six of us. We were knitting away, minding our own business, until a well-dressed but slightly inebriated gent came over to see what we were up to. "How can you be doing this, somewhere so dangerous?" he queried. Umm, have you *been* outside lately, mate? Corporation St is a wilderness at night now, apart from the odd person escaping the IKEA maze, and the odd bus or taxi. Ok, it was a little busier last night, it being late night shopping, and an ice hocky night, but still, hardly Afghanistan. Turned out he had just escaped himself, from a tour of duty goodness knows where, and had two "men" at the bar. It had taken him 15 minutes to not get to the point of why he was standing there, apart from establishing our marital statuses (statii?! we are all attached, anyhoo!), and then I had my lucky escape, to my sisters for emergency babysitting (she's hurt her back and had a cancellation with
an osteopath). I settled down to watch yet another home improvement programme, and the start of "The Devil's Whore", worrying a bit at having left my friends in the lurch.

I gather he was quite persistent, and even sent his cohorts up in turn, then tried again. Dammit, I missed a chance to taunt them mercilessly. I did point out we were armed with sharp needles, but that just seemed to turn him on! Sue despatched them around half 8, I think. It's hard to be rude to polite drunks. Even so, I've never gotten to the stage where I thought my personal insight was so interesting I had to share it with total strangers! Usually I'm half asleep after a few drinks, I am a
well-behaved drunk - not that it happens that often. I'm too busy talking to be downing anything. I usually wind up half asleep, propped against a speaker. Yes, I can sleep standing against a speaker whilst a live band is playing, but the Cog's snoring keeps me awake. Go figure.

The pub in question is not exactly the most stylish, but it's still NOT THAT KIND OF PUB. You want Hillfields*, mate. Oh, and expect to pay.

Fnarr!

* red light district

2 comments:

fibreclaireUK said...

I think I got off lightly - DH and I had to rush out cos someone honed to say their organ was billowing smoke and could we sort it out please LOL


(church organ, that is)

Anonymous said...

Funny... count your blessings. When you get as old as dirt as I am, the critters don't hover around anymore. But, now that I think of it, that's a blessing, LOL.