One foot in front of the other...

Well, I'm still here. There's not been much crafting to report, because I've rather lost my mojo of late. My FIL passed away late February after a short spell in UHCW and round-the-clock feeding by the four sons both there and when he returned home - using a dessertspoon takes forever. The funeral  was the day after my birthday, and two days after what would have been his 91st birthday, so things were very low key this year, though we did have a small family buffet on the following weekend, which was nice. Keeping the house running whilst the Cog dealt with the family stuff every single evening really took it out of me - dozing off in front of the TV became our "hobby" for a time. 

I also managed to wash the second Agnes cardigan (purple merino) wrong - it turns out "delicate" means spin the bejesus out of things to my washing machine -  and the extra yarn it mysteriously needed to complete it suddenly resurfaced, leaving me with a cardigan for a giant. Yeah, as it was my second attempt at that cardigan I guess I'm cursed to never own it - I'm not entirely sure round yoked cardigans fit my frame anyway but it was such a pretty pattern! I am part way through frogging it. I think if I reuse the yarn it will be in a crochet pattern - I'm fed up of investing so much time in handknits that then have to be frogged!

However, all is not lost. I've been knitting and crocheting little hearts for UHCW's palliative care team - apparently they give them to patients and relatives - and I'm also crocheting a cactus amigurumi kit that was a birthday present. Finally we may have an unkillable plant in our NW facing living room. I've also been doing a bit of beading. Youtube is such an amazing resource, but I do wish I could find some books on the subject, because short little videos are kind of irritating to use as reference materials. I do love a reference book! Talking of which, I finally caved and bought "Structural Stitches" by Victoria Salmon, which is very inspiring - kind of the book Bill King would write, if he compiled all of his MKM articles. 

So, I'm in a bit of a weird mood - I want to be creative but I don't seem to want to finish anything already in progress. Maybe delayed start-itis? Who knows? 

Current mood: indescribable

Moving back into my room

On Saturday, we had a lovely, almost springlike, weather. Alas my partner and I missed the first few hours of it, because we were busily swapping our WFH offices. The Cog's worked in my knitting room, first on a folding camping table, and then from a proper sit-stand desk, since the 2020 lockdown started. I took over what had been his desk in the box (third) bedroom - not sure if that's a term that translates outside the UK. A "box" bedroom is a small bedroom that will only really take a single bed and a few items of furniture. Anyway, we managed to rig up a screen set up that will work for him temporarily. He can't use one of his two old monitors because he didn't have the right connectors, and as it's temporary (he's going to buy himself a superwide monitor) he can work off his laptop screen for a few days. Luckily his laptop is bigger than mine. We actually moved some of the items on Friday night (mostly because he invaded the 3rd bedroom and started getting cute with me) but it did mean that some of the difficult stuff was already shifted. It was certainly nice to get hoovering up in there! So I've swapped the snug navy blue room with all my stationary supplies (sob!) for a larger sunnier room under the eaves which we painted in a cheerful yellow. Yes, that was the irony of the pandemic for me - I'd just got that room the way I'd wanted it, and then had to give it up! My WFH desk is where the E6000 used to be, because I don't like having a computer monitor blocking the precious sunshine. Neither room has a large window so it's a pity to block whatever sun comes in with a computer. Yes, I did draw my room up in CAD, but I think I got the east-west dimension wrong because I definitely can't stack the out of use machines in the corner without a fight. Ah well, nothing's perfect!

The two monitors plus mounting bracket went down a storm on Freegle and have already been passed on, I could have freegled them several times. The lack of manners of some folks though - one person lived 44 miles away. What on earth are they doing on Freegle Rugby? Don't answer that... As it was, a nice chap popped over at lunchtime and the set up now has a new home. 

So, I've been attempting to use up the kingfisher blue yarn leftovers to make a hat. The first hat came out way too tight, and the second looked like a too-short condom, so it's been knitted and frogged twice. Let's hope the third time is the charm?! In both cases the machine fought me all the way but I think it's down to my being out of practice more than mechanical failure really. Let's hope this is the year I can get back on track in there! 

Current mood: happy

A rose by any other name...

Not much to report lately, other than I am making more roses! I am not sure I'm up to the amount that was hinted at, but I'll have a go nevertheless. I spent a fun few hours at the Alex with my friend C, and got her making a heel on her Russian CSM (which is quicker as it's an unusual midgauge CSM so less needles). She's also got two Gearhearts, only one of which is functional. The badly-behaved one actually cost more, so it just goes to show you never know. 

All of the Christmas chocolate Roses and Quality Street have long gone, and the last of the Christmas snacks (asides from crackers for cheese). I find both chocolate brands disappointing now - the useful tins are now plastic and much smaller, and the selections less in both cases. QS wins for me because of the recyclable packing - I really do hate modern "flow wrapping", it was much more fun to delicately peel off the foil and try to keep it intact (not to mention it could be recycled). That pleasure is now solely restricted to the noisette triangle and Cadbury's Creme Eggs! Boo! I did receive some very nice Lily O'Brien chocolates which disappeared VERY quickly. I do also like those Lindor balls, too much in fact! The weather's been either very cold/icy or not quite so cold/foggy. I'm appreciating the chance to hibernate, even though I'm not home as much as I'd like for various reasons!

I'm still hoping to knit down some stash this year - I've some leftover teal wool from this jumper to use up, so either a hat, scarf or pair of gloves. I've never found making full gloves on the knitting machine much fun - the main part is ok but the fingers are such a fiddle I'd much rather do that bit on DPNs in front of the television. Of course, mittens are much easier. The next large project will probably be something in some burgundy bamboo, because the SK260 is up, and then something with knitweave which needs to be a Brother machine I think, for ease. 

Current mood: impressed and still exploring the Machine Knit Community

Update

Well, this month has been a bit of a dead loss, but I've only myself to blame really. I adore the social side of Christmas - less so the planning - especially since COVID blew our office working patterns out of the water. Alas, I am very good at ignoring my body until I'm actually dropping with exhaustion. Yes, it's just a very nasty head cold but I was washing hankies at quite a rate for a while there... thank goodness the Cog has a drawerful, I only have one gents pack I picked up at M&S and some "girly" sized ones that are fine when you DON'T have a cold! I kept thinking I was getting better, when in actuality I was making it take longer because I felt obliged to attend a few things I'd booked (and also I wanted to go, I can't completely blame others for my pig-headedness!). It's also very hard to rest at home when the house looks like Xmas exploded in it. Consequently I've been off sick for about a week, and although I probably could work from home tomorrow, nobody will be in the mood to do much anyway, those that aren't already on holiday. I'm currently ok as long as I stay still, moving about I've got a woozy head, and still a bit of an annoying cough, but at least the nose factory has powered down and it's only been from the chest up. I'm also napping randomly, my body is taking charge for a change, so I'll step back from driving for a bit and see how we go.

Good job I had no plans to do any Xmas knitting/crochet at least!

Best wishes to all and here's hoping for a peaceful, brighter New Year. 

Current mood: exhausted

Black dog

Apologies for the lack of content on here lately. The situation that started my mental funk didn't improve any (to be fair it's with a work colleague's behaviour, so not within my control) so the black dog has been snapping at my heels a bit lately. Never fear, I'm getting the help I need. I spent a lot of yesterday afternoon using my overlocker (US serger) turning an old but frayed bath towel into floor and general cleaning cloths, and managed to successfully rethread with black after one attempt. It looks like a black animal has been shedding fluff down one end of the living room, but hoovering is for another day.

I will be back, never fear, but would appreciate your thoughts and hugs in the meantime. 

Current mood: cynical

February witterings and a thought about Passap training videos...

Crikey, February already? Being flat out at work does at least make time fly. The socks I posted about last time have been adjusted - the too-long one has been partially tinked and handknit to match length-wise, and I've knit the first of another pair of tubular socks on the Dean & Bean CSM to prove to myself that I CAN knit a matching pair - wish me luck!

TLDR: car issues, health issues, work issues

The car issues seem to be gradually coming to a close - I have come to the conclusion that the immobiliser company don't know how to use email or landlines and don't even have a customer service department. Apparently my problems will get resolved, they just can't be bothered to keep me in the loop (they seem to be forgetting whose money it is). There's still finger-pointing going on. I have resolved to call them every Friday like clockwork until they get this sorted, the squeaky wheel getting the oil. Having friendly receptionists that get you down off the ceiling is all well and good, but if nothing ever actually happens then she's just decorative alas. On the plus side, I did get my car returned this week after a stupid accident where I forgot to apply the handbrake (well, it's electronic, so not visually obvious!) and the car decided to use a Tesla as a doorstop, which got me a cracked bumper (the Tesla got the worst of it). Whoops. Car is back, nice and shiny, AND the garage updated the software. Bit of an expensive way to get it valleted though, do not recommend! Very impressed with Privilege (insurance company), the repair was done quickly and the various companies involved have kept me well-informed throughout. The whole thing has been sorted within 10 days, I'm just waiting on the hire car company to pick up their vehicle. The immobiliser company could learn a thing or two from them! 

The Cog very kindly bought a nasty cold back from Austria, and is still coughing very loudly ten days later. I am debating hiding his passport so he can't go away next month  - first COVID, now this, whatever next, leprosy?! So far I seem to be fine, but I suspect the adrenalin caused by the stress of the previous paragraph is keeping my immune system and blood pressure on high alert. So sleep has been very, very scarce lately - woken up by constant coughing, and then seized with fury over the car issues. If I do dream at all, it's brief snatches of a nightmarish kind (the horror (!) of wearing muddy jeans I thought were clean, a nasty double-murder, that sort of thing). Not a combination I'd recommend. 

Work has been flat out. Nov-Mar is probably our busiest time of the year, not helped by the loss of my good friend and colleague LB and the maternity leave of another colleague. We have a new member of staff in place finally but they are fully booked with "meetings" next week, so resource-wise we are still understaffed. Patience is a virtue I don't possess, and there are only 40 hours in a week, so... they get what I have time to do, and no more. It doesn't help that one particular engineer always seems to leave it 'til lunchtime Friday to ask for more work; he doesn't use the correct channels, and the planning is done early Friday so he's always too late. My braincells can't cope with much more than 40 hours, and anyway it's unpaid. 

Now, onto actual crafting content!

The tunisian crochet sheep cushion got press-studs during a Zoom meeting, it's just awaiting its final photo shoot. I'm part-way through adding press-studs to a hot pink knit-weave cardigan I gained in an estate sale and didn't have the heart / will to frog. It's not even very well finished, but I will continue! I guess I should have just chucked it, but being acrylic I couldn't bear the thought of it going into the bin and outlasting all of humanity as pieces. Yeah, I don't have enough with my own unfinished projects, I get landed with others!

We had a fairly successful Zoom meeting this week where I gave everyone that attended a quick tour of the Passap E6000. I am thinking of creating some videos to share on Youtube, because there's not much info out there for the E6000 and the manual seems to be written for upgraders, not beginners. I wonder if there would be any interest? I've recently lost the video editing software on my works laptop - I suspect ICT thought it was dodgy (in a legal sense) and removed it without notice. As we are imminently upgrading to W11 in a few weeks (where one can no longer install software without permission) and I will be switching to Adobe Premiere, I will need a period of learning the new software methinks. I've learnt one needs to watermark videos, lest some unscrupulous soul claims it as their own work and charges for it. 

The return of the longer days / increased daylight is helping me to get out of my crafting funk, albeit slowly. I have a few more "not quite finished, don't need much to complete" projects to get done and then I can let startitis kick in again. 

Well, that turned into quite the epistle! Onwards and upwards, as they say!

Current mood: annoyed but determined

Merry (crappy) Christmas...

Wow, time has gone by again. It's not that nothing is happening, it's just that nothing knitworthy is happening. We had a short break in Southampton and Arundel right after my last post, I may have to post-date a post about it. The Cog wasn't great throughout and is having investigations into his stomach problems. 

My work can get very busy in the last month of the year as customers look at their bank balances and decide to buy (or not) - and December is a busy month for me, with all the Christmas planning. I had hoped for a quiet 2.5 day week in week 51, clearing out my inbox etc, but had to do a major redesign on something we quoted a while back because the new building is 6m shorter and they were having a board meeting about it on the 22nd (who DOES that?!). I had to cram six week's design work into one day (well, I managed to move the big parts, but the spaghetti awaits me next year). To put the tin hat on the icing, there was a major IT issue on my last working morning. In the end I logged on at 7am the following morning and did twenty minutes unpaid. I hate stuff hanging over my head! Most of the CAD team were already on holiday, plus the sales engineer, but the senior engineer wanted to know if I was working week 52? He's recently widowed, I get it, but absolutely not! 

Yada, yada, it comes every year, alongside the disrupted sleep and anxiety that just make everything feel so much harder than it really is. For some reason I always feel like I should have started planning in November, whilst also wanting to keep December for Christmas alone (our lights will never go up in November, put it this way - and my first spotting was on bonfire night, November 5th!). 

I made some xmas jewellery sets for female family members, and I don't know if I photographed them or not and they've already been gifted or wrapped (more on that later). I also cast on a sideways cardigan in an aran-weight yarn, which knits up very quickly (so I have knitted about three quarters of it already). I added cables to it. I failed to get any machine knitting done, unless you count demonstrating a simple mitten pattern and making a pair at the Alex. 

Outside of all that, we traded in both of our beloved cars for a newish Ford Focus in November, and we've had a few issues with it. My first job today is to call the dealers and politely express my wrath in having had to call out the AA (recovery) twice in less than two months, for two seperate faults. The car's been nicknamed MP (Money Pit). Pity, it's a lovely drive, but I'm beginning to think it's a lemon.

We had some nice celebrations for Christmas - work did a "bake off" buffet at work, and there was also a meal (we paid for ourselves) which I couldn't attend because I had holiday to use up and had made other plans. The Cog's eldest brother hosted the annual xmas eve meal, which was excellent, and we won at Junior Pictionary because I am so good at drawing and not at ALL bigheaded! :D

Mum tested positive for COVID when she got home on Christmas day. In hindsight, she really ought to have tested herself before she came, and I saw her on the Thursday before too (when she was coughing) - neither of us joined the dots, alas - it's the time of year for coughs and colds. Plus she's had a cough for ages - to the point of having an ultrasound - and they can't find anything. The vaccine takes 1-2 weeks to take effect, so she must have somehow caught a different variant in the meantime. The Cog tested faintly positive, so he must have caught it in Norway. So, Boxing day plans went out of the window. It was going to be the first year since the pandemic where people on my side of the family would actually get their xmas presents at xmas, and everyone would be present, but my sister didn't want to take the risk (they've both had it several times and been poorly, and my niece has somehow never had it) and we didn't want to risk Greg's parents, who are quite frail. We got Greg's elder brother to drop off our gifts, and the trip to Coventry ended up being a short trip to pick up some COVID tests and a supermarket run to buy some actual food for us, as we had not planned to be eating at home. Our freezer had plenty of veggies but very little protein in it! 

So! Not the best end to 2023, and the saga isn't over yet. NYE plans are also up in the air. I can tell I'm anxious - it's like that feeling at the top of a helter skelter, except it's all the time, and over the silliest of things. My smartwatch keeps telling me my heart rate is too high when I am walking around the shops (it can do that, yet it can't tell me my daily calendar, just the Cog's! Ugh!).  I always struggle in winter but this year seems darker for so many reasons, political and otherwise. Oh well, onwards and upwards!

Here's hoping your holiday celebrations went better than mine, and let's pray for a peaceful 2024. 

Current mood: exhausted, annoyed, fed up

Festival of quilts 2022

I had a lovely day visiting the festival of quilts yesterday, despite a minor hitch with the trains on the way there. Far too many quilts to show and smartphone photographs do NOT do them justice - click on the one above to see a few others I took pictures of. If anybody wants me to delete a shot I'm happy to do so. Lots of folks were taking pictures and I realised I didn't always remember to include the maker in the shot (which would probably be hard to read anyway at this scale). My personal tastes run to the rainbow and loud colours - if it's colourful, it feels "balanced" to me if it includes all colours. I really liked the layout at the NEC too - the whole show was spread out over three halls, with the exhibition quilts mostly in one hall but with some others in lines elsewhere. It felt busy but less cramped, possibly thanks to COVID and there were plenty of places to sit not necessarily attached to cafes, which has been a previous gripe if you decide to take your own lunch in these cash-squeezed times (I did sample the coffee and the cake, very nice!). Amazing work, these are works of arts not something to throw on the bed! Well, not in my house anyway! I am in awe of all the makers, so much time and effort goes into these. I was very good and didn't go mad on the spending - bought some lovely batik fabric from Bombay Stores Fabrics and a marbling kit from Marbling 4 fun. I always try to buy something because exhibition stands aren't free, though quilting isn't something I've ever tried to do as yet. Dressmaking is more my thing really, maybe when I retire I'll have more time! Hoping to attend "Crafts for Christmas" if I'm around, which is in November. That's more general crafts. I managed just shy of 8000 steps yesterday, which shows you what an old crock that 10k steps a day thing is - impossible for any desk-bound worker to achieve!

This month's NeedlesofSteel machine knitting club meeting got cancelled at very short notice due to the owner of our new venue having a family emergency. Apologies to the person who turned up to find us not there - I had been in town all morning so went home early because I only had one confirmed attendee who already knew we were cancelling. We've started a whatsapp group so that I can inform everyone if it happens again - we may go back to meeting at my place if things don't work out anyway. If the establishment takes off then children running around knitting machines is a safety concern. Anyway, we shall see! Next month coincides with the annual Heritage open day weekends, so I will be taking my CSM as well as a flatbed machine.

As for my own crafting, I've started the right front of the Pauline cardigan and am onto the "long slog" of the straight bit before the armholes. I really ought to maybe finish some of the simple projects just to stop feeling "stuck" - there's a poncho and a crochet scarf that are both not far off being finished. We've been having a heatwave, and I'm very surprised the local county isn't quite officially in drought yet - but it's also meant the thought of yarny projects sat in my lap hasn't been an inviting one. Not to mention, being out and about more making the most of the summer while we can - last weekend we visited Leamington Spa's annual arts festival, which takes up all of Jephsons gardens and then some. We could easily have made a weekend out of that, with the live music and many food stalls around. Maybe next year!

Current mood: inspired

Got the blahs...

Yeah, I have a bad case of the blahs at the moment. The news continues to depress, the trains are on strike, my work colleague has been on holiday so I can't really get into the office for some social interaction, and having resubmitted my driving licence application (hoping I got the health questionaire right, it was very Krypton Factor!) now it's a case of a final appointment with the neurologist (a second £200 excess for a ten minute chat because it's two days after my health insurance renews, bit annoying that!). The Cog co-owns a flat with his brothers, and the last tenant had a fire in the living room (despite there being no gas in the building!), so he's been spending a lot of free time painting that. As it's not been redecorated for some time, they've got to sort out new carpets and soft furnishings too. So when he's out doing that, I'm kind of housebound in the evenings - our bus service now finishes at 7pm in the week, or 5pm at the weekend, due to the pandemic, no idea if they'll ever come back. So I can't even get to the gym unless I want to walk or cycle back (which kind of negates the gym really as it's about 4 not at all flat miles). Argh. The summer is being terribly British, apart from the odd heatwave day which only falls Mon-Fri of course, so that I can bake in place in front of my monitor.

I know, I know, first world problems. Whilst I welcome less cars on the road from an environmental point of view, and quite enjoy hybrid working, I really miss what I clearly mistook for my social life, my work colleagues. I only speak to my immediate team on a daily basis, everyone else has become the odd email and very occasional phone call. I miss the low hum of office chatter and giggles. I don't suppose things will ever return to normal now we've all had a taste of freedom to choose where we work. This is a nasty taste of how my life will be when I retire. Lonely. Whilst I have plenty of hobbies I could be doing indoors, having someone other than the Cog to discuss them with would be nice, let alone just conversation about anything and everything. His hobbies are playing computer games, sleeping and playing the guitar. He's not really a creative type. Never thought I'd be grateful for radio DJs, but I am! It makes things feel less weird around here... I even check the doormat obsessively, even when I know the postman has not been down our drive. Pathetic. 

I am trying to plan things in the evenings - Tuesday was gym and food shopping, and last night's "thrill" was a pile of ironing before the Great British Sewing Bee came on, hoo boy! There would have been knitting but I was too lazy to go upstairs and get it. See what I mean about the blahs? I guess it's what the Americans would call being in a funk. So if I don't post much lately, it's 'cause there really isn't that much to report at the moment.

Current mood: blah

Fractious

Yes, January and February so far seem to be full of postponements, cancellations, missed connections and various minor irritations. We are having our kitchen replaced this year - we paid the deposit in June and everything was set for March, but then our contractor had to drop out due to ill health, and all of a sudden it's arriving a month later. Some sort of administrative cock up because the physical kitchen is still currently set to ARRIVE in March, I hope it gets rebooked otherwise our garage will be stuffed full  and impossible to access for four weeks. Fine by me, I was sending myself mad trying to gradually move things around so that the living/dining room can also become a kitchen for a while. The mental 3d Tetris involved seems insurmountable though I'm certain it won't be, when the time comes. So it's meant getting rid of a small fridge and a side table, and gradually putting various items onto Freegle or up into the attic for disposal/storage. 

Some Freeglers are lovely; some are most definitely resellers who don't seem to realise that by using the (somewhat flaky) app, I can see they've asked for every single thing I've posted - I've no problem with resellers, except for the lack of honesty on their part. Some seem to think Freegle is some sort of free Amazon service, delivery included. Some folks just don't seem to be able to resist asking for something, but have no actual intention of getting in further contact or turning up to collect it, and sadly a lot of folks can't even use full sentences or use the word "please" when making requests. I keep trying, because I hate throwing good stuff in the bin, but I can see why most folks can't be bothered with the hassle of keeping perfectly good things out of landfill. I've been corresponding with someone since the 4th February over some magnetic fridge poetry - I'm starting to not believe the excuses they've made for not showing up (and it's in a tub behind our wheelie bins, they don't even have to risk catching  COVID, or meeting a human, to pick it up!). 

At the moment, every car advert is like salt in the wound for me, not to mention the thought of all the places I used to be able to get to independantly - just nipping into town on the way home to pick something up. Last week, a quick trip to the supermarket was almost a treat - but don't go Friday nights, the place is crawling with roughly 50% maskless covidiots. Why anyone thinks a zoonotic virus gives a flying fig about the latest government guidelines (getting more lax here by the day) I don't understand. I'd rather stay home or err on the side of extreme caution until most of the world is vaccinated. I always thought I might eventually turn into a reclusive little old lady, surrounded by her craft pursuits - who knew it would come thirty years early? We went for a walk first thing today and saw a bus go by - five maskless passengers. It's the worst of times and the best of times not to be able to drive. Sigh. I never realised, but there's a whole hidden class of people that have no choice but to rely on public transport - which is great if you live in London, not so much anywhere else in the country. 

Anyway, I ramble, as seems to be my wont in wintertime, when regular sleep goes out of the window and everything seems just too annoying to deal with. I am still sewing facemasks, though mostly to replace my first, not so well-fitting ones - if I didn't already mention it, I am now wearing varifocals, which has made better-fitting masks a must if I am not to walk around in a permanent fog of my own making. Though a good friend recommended "Muc off", a spray used for motorcycle helmet visors and swimming goggles, and it's a revelation I tell you! No more steamed up spectacles! 

I've pulled a knee ligament (I did the splits on ice a week into 2022) which hasn't helped with the sleep, it is VERY painful when touched, which happens all night as I am a side sleeper. I suspect COVID burnout is starting to get to me, I am paranoid, over-anxious and sometimes on the verge of tears if anyone's too nice to me. Perhaps HRT is required, I couldn't get the doctor's opinion on that. Everyone seems fractious and overwrought, but then maybe that's just me. The mailman delivers nothing but junkmail; I long for friendly faces and correspondance. 

On a more positive note, I am crocheting something which I cannot share until it is with the recipient, because I want it to be a surprise. I've had to frog about 1000 stitches a few times though, I can't get the maths to add up correctly, so there has been some fudging going on. We've also had a few things done on the house - my office window has been replaced (blown vacuum) and repaired (dropped hinge), so no more draughts. The garage lock has been replaced and the tracks relubricated, now it's in danger of chinning anyone unwary enough to stand too close to it. The heating system has been fixed, and we await new blinds for the Cog's office. This is all stuff that wouldn't happen if we weren't WFH. Small victories, take them where you can. I bought a second-hand MK book with some inspiring projects in it and am hoping it will bring my crafting mojo back. 

I will try and post some pictures of current projects next time. 

Current mood: annoyed

Whoops...

Blogger/Google must have changed something, and I missed it. I found a bunch of comments that I had not responded to. So if you left a comment and I never replied, my apologies! I don't get that many comments anyway, if I was as popular as the Yarn Harlot or Attic 24 then perhaps I would have spotted it sooner. Anyway, mea culpa - I've resubscribed to receiving comments on my two blogs so hopefully they will get through now. 

Technology eh? Just when you think you've figured it out, everything changes and the rug gets pulled from under you again. 😜

The only plan is not to plan...

I thought I'd better check in here before the end of the year, despite there still being very little crafting to report. If there's anyone still reading this, I'm just popping in to say I'm ok. My sleep cycle always gets disrupted with the return to GMT, so I wake too early and drop off around 9pm. It takes some time to get back into some sort of routine, so all I'm good for is the odd bit of handknitting or crochet. It's hard not to get stuck into negative thinking when it's so dark outside, with the added strain of Xmas preparations on top. This year might be the hardest ever - epilepsy meds which disrupt sleep, menopause and SAD all at once. Guess what - insomnia, excessive alcohol and caffeine can increase the chances of seizures too - great! Sometimes the thoughts take a very dark turn - luckily I'm too exhausted to do anything stupid, and anyway I'm determined to make my next milestone birthday. I need to learn to tame the mad squirrel brain I think. 

It's even worse with COVID seemingly stalking our every move - I won't get to see my family in person over Christmas this year. Alas, it's the thoughtlessness of others that has put the kybosh on our celebrations, thanks to one cavalier individual. How selfish can you be to attend choir practice with "just a cough", in the middle of a pandemic, knowing full well your child was positive the week before? Thus infecting at least five people (b-i-l being one of them) and probably more. Ironically, it doesn't even matter - my nephew has also gone down with it from another source, so they will all be staying indoors and at home. They've been uber-careful, they've all had all the jabs they could, and taken every precaution they could, but the virus wins anyway. I thought last year was bad, but at least we got to celebrate outside, on a golf course.

Oh well, enough of my troubles. We are warm, safe, employed and I am going to count all the positive things we have going for us. I got my spare ipod repaired, the house is full of nice food and drink and things could be much, much worse. Happy Christmas to you all, and here's hoping for a better 2022! 

Current mood: relaxed

Awake forever and whirlwind northern holidays...

I had no idea it'd been such a long time since I'd posted. Last month we had a major deadline at work, which got pretty stressful by the end. I had some minor IT issues on the work's PC - W10 forgetting who I was, lost me 5 hours because the first IT guy tried to back up my C: to my C: , why yes, it DID run out of space! - then having to install the RAM myself on a new PC - pretty sure we're not insured for that sort of thing. Lots of minor things, which I would normally laugh off, get taken way too personally by me and keep me awake at night. This is my first time doing GMT on the epilepsy meds, and apparently they can cause insomnia (which is always a problem for me at this time of the year ANYWAY). Ironically, stress and insomnia make seizures more likely. Couple all that with the DVLA taking 13 weeks to send me the updated version of the form I sent them in August - I ended up taking advice from a lovely lady at an epilepsy charity because my brain was so shot I couldn't tell the difference between surrender and revocation; handy tip - the latter isn't voluntary! So I am now officially without wheels - I know technically this was old news, but it still stung a bit, it now being  official. Passing my driving test is up there with getting my current job and getting my degree for me.  

The Cog booked us a lovely week away - two days retail therapy in Leeds, two days in a posh spa hotel that we could have happily stayed in longer, were it not for our burgeoning bill, and two days in a more basic hotel on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales / Forest of Bowland (but it was a suite! My first ever!). I caught up with a much-missed work colleague in Leeds  - I believe I may have talked her head off, whoops - and it snowed, which is only romantic when you don't have to drive anywhere, and we didn't, so hooray! We celebrated G's birthday at the expensive hotel and both got massages - one of the barmen grew up in Coventry, madness! We had a nice lunch in Skipton en route to the last hotel, not visited since I was a teenager, when my dad's poor car broke down, leading to a very scary 12mph drive back into town and a day locked in the apartment with my younger sister, whilst my parents spent the day clambering over scrapyards trying to get a replacement part, which rather ate into the rest of our holiday money. He had an Austin A40 and had tinkered with it, and something to do with the fan belt sheered off I think. Poor dad - always the frustrated mechanic - found a garage that could repair it, but the car was so old that Dad had to go find a compatible part! We had a lovely pit stop in Morecombe (soo cold it tried to sand our faces off!) and did the obligatory posing in front of Eric Morecombe's statue, before a gentle drive back through the dales, and a lovely hot soup lunch at a tiny pub in Sedbergh. I saw so many places I would like to revisit at leisure - yes I know flights and hotels in Europe are much cheaper and the weather is nicer, but there are some real jewels in England too! We usually go away for G's birthday, but the whole LFT/PCR testing thing seemed to be a lot of trouble - just obtaining some LFT tests this weekend was a PITA, no wonder people aren't bothering! We have been making ourselves laugh, randomly yelling catchphrases from the Fast Show and we really reconnected last week, so it was worth it just for that. Strange that we have both WFH for 21 months yet need to go away to reconnect, isn't it?! :) 

It was a lovely week, but my sleep schedule hasn't been very regular - I defy anyone to have less than one alcoholic drink per day (with the evening meal) on holiday - so I am back but quite tired! On the plus side, we got quite a lot of our xmas shopping finished up last week. I only have a few more things to make / buy and I'm done! Ironically I took three or four craft projects with me, and didn't open the bag all week. There has been a bit of sewing going on, but some of it is for xmas so I can't show it here. 

Anyway, I won't bore you further! G is very kindly sleeping on the sofa for a few nights so I can get back into the swing of things, and I am feeling quite a bit better than before I went away, so that's something I guess! I tried to log in on the work's PC before we went away, just to check some insurance details - Storm Arwen had blown around the house all night and freaked me out enough to get "laid up" insurance on the car - but Windows 10 had forgotten who I was again. That's Monday's problem, anyway. Ha! New laptop, new bugs! 

I hope, if you made it this far, that you are safe and well and hunkering down for the indoors season. Stay safe and well! 

Current mood: exhausted

Really locked down...

Gosh, didn't realise it was almost a month since my last post. I am still being investigated for "focal seizures", if that is what they are. They only occur when I'm stressed, so it's very sporadic. I might not have any for months. Seems overkill to take medication for the rest of my life if so. We shall see what the test results say - I am hoping I come up clear. Still got a bump on the back of my head, and very little recollection of the holiday. Apparently, I even said "but we've only just got here" when the Cog informed me we were preparing to go home. I guess I will have to accept those memories are gone for good. I guess I couldn't have lost my driving licence at a better time, as WFH is still the normal for my office. Apparently it is a complete PITA to get it back - my cousin had a seizure after being knocked off his bike and it took many months to get his status restored. Oh, joy. The Cog has been good at taking me to places, but I suspect that will wear thin soon and especially in wintertime. 

Sad to say there's little machine knitting to report, but I have been working away on a handknit cardigan. It's an all-in-one raglan, with cables up the sleeves, in Noro Kureyon. I know there are a few mistakes in it, but as it took three attempts to get the sleeves on correctly they will have to stand. No pictures at the moment. 

The cavalier are now maskless, and the shelves at the local supermarket quite empty because of the "pingdemic". Oh for a return to normality! Though I suspect, things will never quite be the same again. 

I have been gifted two large sacks of coned yarn, I suppose I should pull my finger out and get making blankets out of them. It makes one despair of having a sort out, when more arrives. I have also been hunting for photographs pre 2003, as I hope to document our holidays. I suspect they might be pre-digital - I have had little luck so far! I also had a sneaky plan to challenge myself in the photography field, but lack of access to transport will make it tricky. For instance, there are lots of lovely examples of "thatch art" here, but such things are hard to visit without a car. 

We have a few more mini breaks and trips planned. I must try and stay positive. There are much worse positions to be in, and it's not forever, even if July 2022 seems a long way away. 

Current mood: annoyed

Doldrums

Well, the weather has gone back to either spring or autumn settings - overcast, occasional sun, chilly wind. We finally bought a garden set (chairs, table, parasol) so I guess you can blame me, Mother Nature has seen fit to prevent us from sitting out there ever since! It was a bargain, £35 off because one bolt was missing from the package - as luck would have it, we happened to have the correct bolt (albeit not silver, but who cares?). Lucky though - the package was marked "missing washer" which is a BIT different from missing a bolt!

My mood has been somewhat apathetic, like the weather. I've been working on a test knit for a fellow raveller - a sock knitted on the Passap. The first sock was very hard work, I think perhaps the stitch size (certainly for the 2x2 rib) is too tight, I can't imagine it stretching enough to fit my calf (though I've yet to sew it up to check). The second sock I'm trying one ss up, and it's a heel flap sock, which is pretty fiddly on a knitting machine. Almost in the category of "why would I?" but I'm sticking with it. Everything is practice, even if it doesn't result in anything satisfactory at the end. I have found myself falling asleep in the armchair around 7pm, which is both annoying and is poor sleep hygiene. I have to try and remind myself, whatever I do is enough - but I am pushing myself to stay awake as evenings are still my most precious time for crafting!

Would love to know what other crafters do to get themselves out of a funk! Right now I'm all ideas and little action!







Oh yes, the contrast heel is sock yarn and one end of overlocker cotton, for strength. Using cotton is a first for me.

Had a go at sewing a face mask - first attempt wasn't great, but I do know where I went wrong for next time - incorrect bias binding, two parts in upside down, etc:



I'm wondering about modifying it though - this pattern has an internal pocket for a replaceable filter and I'm wondering if interfacing wouldn't be better, and ditch the pocket. The one my friend made me is great, but when breathing in, the lining gets sucked towards my face and it's quite claustrophobic. One, I don't really want to buy a hoover bag to make more filters which ultimately have to be disposed of and two I've got plenty of interfacing and could then chuck the masks in the wash more frequently.

I've been growing these on the windowsill:



Repotted them on Sunday - some sort of caterpillar has been having a munch already, the cheek!

After the drought of May, I didn't think the hydrangea was going to survive, but a bit of rain and it's suddenly burst into flower. I seem to remember it got to the green "pre-flower" stage last year, and then everything died in the drought, so I'm pleased it seems to be making a special effort this year.



I bought a cheap geranium for my "office", and nearly killed it the first week through lack of water. Now a bit of TLC, water every day, and it's lovely and cheery.



Current mood: apathetic

More lockdown learning

It's not been a great week. I reached out to someone I'd lost touch with a few weeks back; it was genuinely just a "how are you?" kind of thing, no ulterior motive. Alas, the friend immediately assumed I was after something, seems to think I used her and that our whole friendship was a sham. I guess we are no longer friends. I doubt she reads my blog but it's such a pity. We didn't get to meet very often (my weekends were always so full pre lockdown!) but when we did, we had such a giggle. I really thought I'd connected with this person. I have such rotten luck with female friends. I guess I must be a really bad judge of character. She's going through an awful time and lashed out at me. Good manners cost nothing though, and if you can't say anything nice, say nothing - those are two of my main tenets. So I'll say no more, other than, I will make more of an effort to try and stay in touch with people in future. I could also aim to arrange the next meeting with someone, because if it's in my diary I'll move heaven and earth to make it, but if it's not, days slip into weeks slip into months...

Now the most aggravating thing is that my sleep is messed up again. Normally it would fix itself a week or so after the return to BST, but lockdown and money worries put paid to THAT. It had just about sorted itself lately. Unjust accusations are now rolling around my head. Oh well.

I HAD planned to do a test knit for a Ravelry friend on the Passap later on today (it's gone 3am), but now I'm not sure I'll have enough energy and concentration to fight with the Swiss Miss. Bearing in mind I'm still working the 9-5 from home, and we spent most of yesterday doing garden things, I'm annoyed to have my hobby potential reduced, even by half a day. My personal play time is very precious to me, because there's so very little of it!

Current mood: annoyed

Let down and hanging around...

Another lyric, this time from the excellent Radiohead, which somehow captures my mood today!

Pandemic lockdown came swiftly to the UK. On the 19th March, working from home (WFH) was advised. I had to go in for a meeting on the 20th, and had intended to pick up some needed items (keyboard, trackball etc) whilst I was there. My meeting was postponed for thirty minutes, as the MD announced over Skype that the offices were closing as of that evening, and we would all be WFH for the foreseeable future. I was lucky enough to snag a really big monitor that was tucked away in a cupboard (it hadn't worked with CAD before, so it was a bit of a gamble, but one I thought worth taking!). There was a mad scramble for monitors - we converted to pairs of desk-mounted monitors on a single clamp some time ago, so a lot of the monitor stands had been disposed of. On Friday 21st I had a bit of a moment - I had to cancel a much-needed massage, and felt like an utter heel because of it (taking business away from someone). Both the Photography and the Sewing for Pleasure shows had already been postponed (the latter a Mother's day present from me to Mum). The final straw - I took too long to renew my driving licence online (requiring both old licence, NI number and passport, two of those being no earthly use to me right now). Blasted website let me get all the way through and then smugly informed me I'd taken too long. It caused me to go postal and throw my rather expensive smartphone and paperwork across the room in a fit of fury. Did such a good job of it, my passport disappeared behind the television. My planned birthday weekend went from massage, craft show, thai meal/pub for 4 to a thai meal for 2 that we picked up ourselves. Talk about coming down to earth with a bang! Yes, my 'phone miraculously survived.

I guess I was in shock and anger with myself - that I'd been mentally scoffing at the supposed doom-mongering of a fellow workmate, himself trapped in Iran - and at the swift postponement of my civil liberties - and grief, realising it would be some time before I would see either family, friends or work colleagues again.

There are compensations. The grind of the 45 minute commute by car has been swapped for a 20 minute walk around our neighbourhood with my other half, where we take pains to spot birds and flowers in bloom. After a few weeks of idiot-caused chaos at the supermarkets, things seem to be mostly back to "normal", though it's still hard to get eggs, certain tinned goods, rice and pasta. I've swapped my spacious desk in the middle of a busy office for a lovely quiet spot overlooking the front garden, where I can watch the trees bloom and spy on the comings and goings of the street. I've started machine knitting again, though am one ball of Noro short for the current project, so will have to park it. Have managed to facetime with Mum on Facebook twice now, though it only seems to work if she calls me. We've been trying new recipes, as himself is trying to force me into veganism.

My partner insists on watching the nightly 5pm press conference, followed by an hour of news (more of the same) which I am rapidly becoming sick of. I note, with disgust, that the HS2 contractors appear to be using the pandemic as cover for hacking down protected woodlands (and protestors) near us, despite the fact only key workers are travelling anywhere. Surely HS2 is now shown to be the biggest white elephant going? The money being poured into it would be better spent on the NHS, doing a sterling job in difficult circumstances. Talking of which, the weekly "big clap" is amazing - even in our little cul-de-sac it sounded like a waterfall.

So. We endure, as we must. Next week is Easter holiday, a week "off" for both of us. It will be a strange staycation.

Some pictures - the Noro cardigan has gained one sleeve since this photo was taken, and some spring flowers to cheer us all up!















Current mood: weird

Panic on the streets of London...

Yeah, that's a Smiths lyric, but it seems somewhat appropriate, given the impending doom of Covid-19 bearing down upon us. I'd love to say I'd been doing lots of crafty stuff, but at the moment things are getting postponed or cancelled everywhere (with good reason). So again, there's not much to report.

Many thanks PB for your lovely comment, I so rarely get comments that aren't spam - it quite made my day! And this is something we all need to remember, in these darkening times. Be nice to one another. Help each other. I'd like to say to always look for the positive in any situation. I'm really struggling with that at the moment. The situation has dire consequences for everyone. I do wish the media would try and focus on the positives instead of frightening us all. Constantly telling us how bad things are (and how bad humans are) only perpetuates the negativity. A feedback loop.

I'm part way through reading a book called "Ten to Zen" (Owen O'Kane). He describes a 10 step, 10 minute method of meditating and restoring calm to oneself. Don't all immediately buy it online though - have a care, dear reader! Whilst us fortunate ones get to work from home for the foreseeable, the logistics workers and delivery drivers are being asked for extra shifts. This is, alas, a big flaw in our consumerist, skewed society. Someone has to PUT that item in a box, that item you order online. It's not magic - there's some really cool technology goes into the sites (I should know, it's what I do!). But there are still people within that logistics chain, people who maybe have health problems themselves, or children, or frail relatives they really do NOT want to pass this awful thing onto.

Anyway, I digress. The author says he doesn't believe in positive thinking. In the midst of grief or trauma, being told to look on the bright side is, at best, somewhat facetious, and at worst, dreadfully patronising. He espouses adaptive thinking instead - play to your strengths - what can you do well, what do you need help with. That is the approach we need to take here.

And also - practice mindfulness, if you can. Be in the present. No point worrying about the past, it is over. No point panicking over the future, it is unknowable. If you are eating, taste the food. If you are bathing, luxuriate in the bubbles and scents. Don't just do - be! Focus!

As a crafter, I'm hoping the travel time saved with WFH will allow me to get some machine knitting done. We shall see.

Stay well, dear reader!



Current mood: scared